So, here I go again. I’ve started and stopped many sites/blogs over the past 20ish years, because I’ve always made them specialized and I just can’t keep a focus on an interest for that long. Like, I had an aquarium blog for dwarf shrimp in the early 2000s and it’s still just sitting there. I’ve also started blogs about gaming, crypto currency, critiquing indipendently published horror novels, writing angry letters to people I run into in my daily life, and driving. Obviously, for me, the specialized blog doesn’t work.
So, now I’ve started another site and this time I’m just going to follow my shifting interests. If I’m feeling English nerdy, I’ll do that. If I’m stuck on a new game, that’s where I’ll go. Programming, boom. Electronics, bam. Comics, bang. Etc.
I’ve been a nerd my whole life. I was born in 1978, so being a nerd when I was a kid wasnn’t nearly as cool as it is made out to be now. I’ve always had an instinctual feel for the mechanical workins of machines, and was already able to fix the moving parts of VCRs and tape decks by the time I was 8. I started programming in C64 basic (following guides, not my own logic) when I was 7 so that I could put swear words into Moon Lander and Lemonade. And I was obsessed with sharks, learning everything I could about them all through elementary school. I checked out every shark book in the school library at least twice.
In fifth grade I was tested for and accepted into the “Gifted and Talented Education” (G.A.T.E.) program and started playing with simple electronics, aerodynamics, lasers, spectrums, and other nerdy toys. In eighth grade I received 2 awards for the S.A.T. test for receiving the highest grade in the school, and for being in the top 5% in the state. I still have the awards somewhere. I dropped out of highschool to work but took the G.E.D. and scored in the top 90th percentile for most categories (85 percentile for maths) and 98th percentile in language comprehension, and 99th in scientific understaning. I tried the join the military for the money to go to college after 9/11, and I have the certificate of my scores around here somewhere, and scored high enough to into any MOS I wated, with the exception of pioloting because of my eyesight, but unfortunately I was not able to gather enough medical waivers (even after I lied and said I didn’t have asthma) to join. So then I took the A.C.T. to try to get into college and got a composite score of 32, which impressed the admissions department, but not enough for me to get any kind of scholarship so I waited. 10 years later I went back and started working on a degree in creative writing (my obsession at the time). I graduated with high honors, and as a founding member and historian of my school’s ΣΤΔ (Sigma Tau Delta) honor society chapter.
Now, I know this sounds like a lot of bragging. But these are the high points. I’ve also been undiagnosed bipolar for who knows how long. I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble and gone to long term juvenile detention, been placed in foster (proctor) homes, had long periods of depression, unpredictable violent outbursts, made major stupid decisions (like running my car head on into another car for no reason), gone on drinking binges for months, had a lot fun with drugs, been fired, been demoted, been in soooo many fights. I’ve hurt my family, I’ve hurt my friends, I’ve hurt strangers, I’ve been violent to myself. I’ve bankrupted myself and ruined my credit more than once. But I’m on a drug cocktail of antipsychotics and mood stabilizers now that mostly keeps me in check and my wife makes sure I take it every day.
So, you can see I’m not bragging. For every up there is to me being a nerd, there I am to destroy it. But I’ve been doing well for the past 1/2 year on my medications and I’m looking to be more positive and constructive. Even through the medications I can feel periods of mania slipping through and it makes me feel creative and that’s what I want this blog to be about. I also set up a youtube channel to show you the projects as I work on them, but this blog is where you can see my ideas start to take shape, and be worked out.
All in all, I hope you are able to gain inspiration, learn something, or make a friend, and be a nerd with me.